Iceland 2-1 Poundland: I want my country back

Last week the majority of the English electorate voted with their hearts to abandon Europe in favour of an imagined golden period of post-war Britain before the Common Market when we won the World Cup, then on Monday England’s footballers voted with their feet to follow their country out of Europe. As a country we now hate foreigners so much we can’t bear to be in the same game as them, at least that’s what it looked like.
Europe are laughing at us, the other nations of the UK are laughing at us and, although a good number are very angry about it, many of our own countrymen are laughing at us. The sheer incompetence, the wrong team, strange tactics, no plan, surprised when it all goes tits up despite it being an obvious risk of the adopted strategy. Still at least there are a few deluded Englishmen on the continent telling Europe how it really is, that they’re all lazy greasy foreigners who will ultimately succumb to English bombers.